Friday, August 1, 2014

Slap the Penguin Nipple Slip

Many people searching the internet find what they are looking for thanks to the computer algorithms developed by Google, the world's most popular search engine. These algorithms analyze billions of web pages and rank them according to individual search terms. For example, people who type "Slap The Penguin" into the search bar are likely to be shown results which include our website towards the top of the listings.

Slap the Penguin Google Search
What do you find when you 'Google' slap the penguin' ?
"Hey that's really interesting, but I clicked on this page because it said 'Nipple Slip'..."

OK stay with me.

Leading up to the 2012 election we published a story about Mitt Romney's Third Nipple, which at the time saw a huge spike in visits to our site, but post election things went back to normal and we received an average number of visits.

Then in 2014 traffic to that page saw a gentle increase at first but by April, it was quickly becoming one of the most visited pages on our site, EVER, because people were searching the word 'NIPPLE' and the aforementioned Google algorithm had somehow logged STP as an authority on that search term directing many extra visitors to our site.

Sadly, many visitors didn't stick around very long since they were probably looking for porn and not looking for the satirical news which we provide. Either way, it was a great boost in our visitor stats and our numbers did look good.

An example of a Nipple Slip
Nipple Slip
Then on July 15th, NOTHING. Visits to our page from the search term 'NIPPLE' stopped. Visitors to STP slipped instantly by 25% and all because Google decided that people looking for nipples were not interested in Mitt Romney's supernumerary polythelia, so the Mitt Romney story was disassociated from that search term.

Yes, we miss all the extra traffic, but now our stats are again a true reflection of visitors to our site, and are not skewed by porn hungry perverts looking for nipples.

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