The last 4 years

By Tina Cruris

Oh boy do I have some cobwebs in places that I had forgotten about; and boy, do you have your mind in the gutter today. I was obviously talking about my roll top writing desk, which is actually just a desk with a jelly roll sitting on it. Who actually writes - pen and paper writing - these days? I usually just dick hate into my phone and hope that the spellchecker picks up any grandma errors. 

There was a jelly roll here a moment ago

Well I know 4 years is a long time, and that times change, but I think that you'll find people are basically the same <instrumental break>

Think of all those things that only happen every 4 years... the Olympics, the Soccer World Cup, Will Ferrell making a funny movie, these are all highlights in our lives and so is the return of Slap the Penguin. I know I can't wait to get back to answering your weekly Dear Tina questions; I have had so many delivered to me during our 48 month hiatus that it will take me at least 2 weeks to answer them all here.

Brad and Alexa are both still penguin slappers, and I know they will be uploading their contributions soon enough, but right now this is my space, so I am going to give you a brief history of what has happened to me in the last four years. 

Not much. I moved in with my boyfriend and that's about it. Oh, we got a cat called Penelope and I have graduated from ramen to real cooking in a real kitchen. I still love vodka and I love having to wear a mask at work because I can straight up tell customers to 'FUCK OFF' right to their face so long as I don't say it loud enough for them to hear me.

The last year has obviously been a little strange with Covid 19 restricting pretty much everything and making it challenging to have any kind of fun, and I am sorry to say that is my entire last 4 years spread out over 2 whole paragraphs.

Check back soon because I will be doing a 4 year recap of the world, and all those things which we could have slapped had we not been taking an extended break, and I am sure it will extend beyond the 2 paragraphs that covered my life.

Ok so I just noticed that Brad beat me to it with a freaking Mangleodeon post. Get a life - Nerd.