Monday, June 8, 2015

Walmart workers fired after having sex with products

By +Brad Naylor

The management team of the Scottsboro, Alabama Walmart have fired 3 employees after they were discovered to be having sex, not with each other, but with stock items. Security video footage shows the 2 men and a woman having intimate moments with a variety of items in the stock room and in one instance, on the sales floor.

Employees having sex in Scottsboro Walmart
Employees caught having sex in Scottsboro Walmart
Among the items being abused by the employees were products from kitchenware, electronics and most disturbingly the toy section. All of the items have been removed from the store to be sanitized before making their way to the clearance racks.

According to the store's security officer, Mark Ellington, the video shows the employees using a number of items in a sexual manner. He was quick to add that the employees were not using the items on each other, and that all three associates appeared to be willing participants in the acts. "It was quite disturbing to see what these employees were doing to 'Big Hugs Elmo'", Ellington reported.

Walmart fires 3 employees for having sex in the store
Walmart fire 3 employees for getting naughty in the store
The employees, who can not currently be identified for legal reasons, claim that they are innocent of the accusations, and that they were just having some fun while they were on their break. They also say that the sexual nature of their exploits have been greatly exaggerated.

Walmart responded by saying that employees on the premises and in uniform still represent the store, even during unpaid breaks, and as such are still required to follow company procedures and policies. While there is not a specific regulation regarding in store fornicating with products, it comes under the general heading of 'Conduct' and also 'Misuse of Company Property'. 

Store manager Chuck Siegelnutt told us, "Had the associates purchased the items prior to their actions, retaining their receipt for inspection, then they may use the items as they see fit, so long as it is on their own personal time. The evidence shows that none of the abused items were previously purchased and only one of the associates was on a break. I have no hesitation in terminating all three employees for gross misconduct. Especially the one who was walking around Kitchen Appliances with a turkey baster protruding from the crotchal region of her pants saying, "I'm a master-baster!"."

The 3 employees have not decided whether they will pursue legal action against Walmart for wrongful dismissal, and if they are reading this, I would suggest that they put this episode behind them and move on.

Have you ever witnessed a Walmart employee having sex in the store? Do you think that Walmart were too hard on these employees who were just having a little fun in a miserable work environment? Have you ever walked around with a phallic object poking out of your pants? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below.

No comments :

Most viewed pages (last 30 days)

Slap the Penguin, more than just a satirical news blog