Thursday, June 11, 2015

Scientists discover drugs on meteorites

By +Brad Naylor

A group of research scientists at the University of Oregon have discovered that 70% of the meteorites that they have studied have traces of drugs in their structure. The team have found evidence of THC, LSD, and MDMA on over 300 pieces of space rock including the world famous Willamette Meteorite during their 6 year study.

Willamette Meteorite covered with drug residue
Willamette Meteorite found to be covered with drug residue
The findings suggest that mind/mood altering substances such as LSD, Ecstacy and Marijuana may have originated off world and arrived on Earth via these intergalactic chunks of rock and metal. The possibility that the cannabis plant, a source of THC, might have come from another planet was also considered. There is no way of telling how these substances made their way onto these meteors in the first place, or how they survived a multi-million mile journey to crash onto Earth after millennia in vacuum of space.

3 types of narcotic found on meteorites
3 types of narcotic found on meteorites so far
Space Conspiracy Theorists from UC Berkeley have also looked at the reports and suggest that the narcotic laced meteorites landing on our planet are part of a preemptive strike from an alien race looking to weaken our defenses with hallucinogens before a physical assault.

Eminent TV alien expert Giorgio A. Tsoukalos somewhat agrees with the boys from Berkeley and has suggested that the dinosaurs could have been wiped out because a space rock got them so high that the resulting munchies sent the crazed meat eating megalizards on a voracious rampage for funnyuns or anything else that they could find to eat, including each other.

Alien Weed killed the dinosaurs
Giorgio has the answer to all of history's questions
A spokesman for the US Department of Exopolitics claims that the intergalactic incursion angle is very much exaggerated and it is much more likely that the meteorites were contaminated by the researchers in Oregon, a state which has enjoyed a long period of decriminalized marijuana use. The USDoEx also warn people not to go around licking meteors and other space rocks looking for a high since they may be infected with other contaminants 

With all these so-called experts weighing in, what is your opinion? Did hallucinogenic drugs originate in space? Are aliens trying to get us high so they can invade more easily? Can you imagine the velociraptors smoking a Jurassic joint? Share your thoughts below.


Dinah Sohr said...

I feel for T-Rex trying to smoke a joint. He got lil arms and would not be able to either puff puff or pass.

Happy Irish Larry said...

OK. So research scientists at a University in Oregon found that a specimen they were studying contained traces of drugs. I would suggest that the probability of the rock becoming contaminated by the student body is really high. (Yes, that was a pun).

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