UFC Freedom 250 to take place on White House lawn

Officially named #1 shitfest of 2026 (so far)

Sunday 14th June 2026 is Flag Day here in America, but fuck that shit, it’s UFC Freedom 250 day, a much more important event in the history of the USA, and to celebrate it, the illustrious leader has built an Octagon on the front lawn of the White House. I get that America is celebrating its quarter millennial birthday, and nothing says Happy Birthday like a dozen people Ultimate Fighting each other over the course of an evening in front of 5000 people.

Freedom is still covered until the Republicans can confirm its definition

Sadly, it does not look like the crowd will reach 5000, with celebrity invitees declining in droves. Unconfirmed non attendees include Adam Sandler, Jason Statham, Dwayne Johnson, Mario Lopez, Guy Ritchie, Jared Leto and Tom Brady. Only Jason Statham responded to our request for comment and all he said was “I am staying home to wash my hair.”

Trump has responded to the mass snub by claiming he never wanted those people there in the first place. “Those people are losers, they weren’t on my A-list, they should have never even received invites, very bad from my team, people will lose jobs for this.”

An artist’s impression of the capacity crowd expected at Sunday’s event

The only thing that could help Trump save face and be able to show a capacity crowd is the hilarious rumor that a bunch of butch gay guys from across the country have been buying up tickets and will attend in their finest fabulous frockery, turning it into a giant Pride event right in Trump’s (temporary) front yard. I would love to see his face when he wakes up to see the crowd decked out in more sequins than the Octagon girls that parade around holding up the numbers between rounds.

One thing that is more concerning than having a giant eyesore arena spoiling the natural beauty of the White House lawn, is the fact that Trump is alluding to the fact that the octagon may not be octa-gone after the event. He is considering keeping it there as a feature, insisting that the Eiffel Tower in Paris was built only as a temporary monument to celebrate the 100th anniversary of the French Revolution, and was destined to be torn down after the 20-year lease of the land ran out.

Well, Trump’s Presidential lease expires in 2 years and if he doesn’t tear it down before then, his replacement surely will, since it detracts from the visual value of the newly constructed ballroom.

Trump and some UFC type people

For those of you who have made it this far, and still don’t know what UFC stands for, let me enlighten you; Ultimate Fighting Championship. But it could also stand for Utah Fried Chicken, Undeniable Fucking Clown, Unfit Fat Cheeto, Unhinged Felon Conman, Ugly Fake Combover and Ultra Fragile Crybaby.

Which of those UFC alternative names is your favorite? Or did you come up with your own? Let me know in the comments.

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Comment: Tell us what you think UFC stands for